Let’s be honest—things feel loud right now.

Headlines are emotionally charged. Social media is a swirl of strong opinions, assumptions, and outrage. And if we’re not careful, we can get pulled into that energy without even realizing it.

So, here’s a question worth asking: What are you contributing to the conversation?

Are you elevating it?

Are you inviting clarity, offering reflection, or helping others respond more intentionally?

Or—without meaning to—are you amplifying outrage?

Repeating emotionally loaded and all too often inaccurate information? Are you reinforcing fear, division, or certainty that the world as we know it is coming to an end without taking the time and space for deeper thought before reacting?

This isn’t about being right or wrong.  It’s about becoming more aware.  Because when strong emotions take over, we often move fast without asking questions.  We stop getting curious and simply absorb, without question, what we’re reading. Particularly when it aligns with our opinion.

The truth is, we all have mental habits that influence how we interpret, share, and react to what we see. Some of those habits are wired into us. Others are learned through repetition. But they all have one thing in common:

They shape our perception of the world—and they shape how we show up in it.

So, if you’re feeling reactive, exhausted, fearful, or just unsure what to believe anymore… you’re not alone. And this is why I wish to offer something I hope you find useful. Something practical.  A few insights that help me stay grounded and at peace within when things feel especially charged.

Because the more we understand how our minds work, the more conscious we can be in how we engage—with ourselves, with each other, and with the world. And the more conscious we are, the more grounded and peaceful we become—regardless of what’s swirling around us.

Let’s break it down.

The Mind’s Filtering System — Why We Don’t Always See Things Clearly

Our minds are brilliant.They’re constantly working behind the scenes to help us process, organize, and respond to an overwhelming amount of information. But in doing so, they take shortcuts—mental filters that help us make quick sense of what’s happening around us.

These filters aren’t flaws. They’re normal, even necessary.
But when we’re not aware of them, they can distort how we interpret the world—and how we react to it.

Let’s look at the three primary filters from the field of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). These shape how we perceive our environment, conversations, and even our own thoughts.

1. Deletion: What’s Missing?
   Deletion occurs when we selectively pay attention to certain aspects of our experience while excluding others. It’s a way our mind filters information by omitting or removing data. Basically, our minds can’t possibly take in everything, so they delete what seems “unnecessary” in the moment. The problem? Sometimes, what gets deleted is exactly what would help us see the full picture. We ignore context. We overlook nuance. We fail to ask, “What’s not being said here?”
   Example:
   A high level manager receives a report with both positive feedback and constructive criticism about their leadership. They only remember and focus on the criticism while completely forgetting the positive comments. When later discussing the report with colleagues, they might say, “The feedback was really negative,” having deleted all the positive information.Deletion creates the illusion that we’re seeing the whole truth—when we’re not.
2. Distortion: What’s Being Twisted?
   Distortion happens when we bend information to match our existing beliefs, fears, or expectations. We assume meaning. We interpret tone. We assign motive where there might be none. Essentially, we change or twist information to fit our existing beliefs or expectations.
   Example:
   A person receives a text message from a friend that reads, “We need to talk when you have time.” The person immediately assumes this means something bad is about to happen and spends the day anxious, thinking their friend is upset with them or that something awful must’ve happened. In reality, the friend just wanted to share some good news. The person distorted the neutral message by assigning a negative meaning to it based on their own insecurities.This filter turns ambiguous events into emotional landmines. It’s also what fuels much of the outrage we’re seeing online today—because a small fact can easily be reshaped into a dramatic narrative.
3. Generalization: What Are We Turning Into a Rule?
   Our minds love patterns. So, we take one experience and apply it broadly.One betrayal? “People can’t be trusted.”
   One political misstep? “They’re all corrupt.”
   One personal failure? “I always screw things up.”
   Example:
   A person tries public speaking once and makes a few mistakes. After this experience, they conclude, “I’m terrible at public speaking. I’ll never be good at it,” and avoid all future speaking opportunities. They’ve taken a single experience and generalized it to define their entire ability in that area.
   Generalization isn’t always wrong, but it becomes dangerous when it locks us into limiting beliefs—about ourselves, others, or the world. It shrinks our perspective down to absolutes, making it harder to see nuance or possibility.

These three filters—deletion, distortion, and generalization—are always running in the background.They’re not good or bad; they’re just habits. But when they’re combined with emotional reactivity or unconscious bias? That’s when we lose our footing. That’s when clarity gets hijacked.

Our minds constantly filter information through these mechanisms—selectively ignoring certain details, twisting meanings to match our expectations, and making sweeping conclusions from limited data. When operating neutrally, these filters help us navigate the overwhelming amount of information in our world. However, when fueled by strong emotions or deep-seated biases, they can significantly distort our perception of reality, causing us to miss opportunities, misinterpret situations, and make decisions based on incomplete or inaccurate mental maps.

Which brings us to the next piece of the puzzle…

Thought Traps — When Emotion Adds Fuel to the Fire

While the NLP filters shape how we take in information, there’s another layer we need to consider—how we interpret and react to it, especially under emotional stress.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), these are called cognitive distortions—automatic thought patterns that often show up when we feel threatened, overwhelmed, or triggered.

They’re not signs of weakness. They’re common, deeply human, and mostly unconscious. But when we’re not aware of them, they can distort how we see everything.

Let’s look at a few of the most common ones:

1. Mind Reading: “I Know What They’re Thinking”
   You assume you know what someone else is thinking or intending, without any real evidence.
   Examples:
   “She didn’t respond to my message—she must be mad at me.” When in reality, she was just in meetings all day and hadn’t had a chance to respond.
   “He looked at me weird in the meeting… he probably thinks I’m incompetent.” Not really. He is experiencing a personal issue that is causing some emotional distress and it has nothing to do with you. He didn’t even hear what you said!This thought trap creates unnecessary stress and conflict. Often, what we’re “reading” is actually a projection of our own fear or insecurity.
2. Catastrophizing: “This Is the Beginning of the End”Your brain jumps straight to the worst-case scenario—even when the actual facts don’t support it. Our brains have evolved this way to spot threats which makes this a natural but often unhelpful survival mechanism in the modern world.
   Examples:
   “This headline means democracy is collapsing.”
   “That one mistake at work? I’ll probably get fired.”It’s a mental fast-forward into imagined disaster. And it keeps us in a state of hyper-vigilance and emotional exhaustion.
3. Emotional Reasoning: “I Feel It, So It Must Be True”You assume that because you feel something strongly, it must be true.
   Examples:
   “I feel anxious about this situation, so something must be wrong.”
   “This post makes me feel angry, so the person who shared it must be ignorant and have no moral values.”Emotions are valid, but they’re not always accurate reflections of reality. When we treat feelings as facts, we stop seeking deeper understanding.

4. All-or-Nothing Thinking: “It’s Either This or That”
   You see things in extremes—black or white, right or wrong, good or evil—without space for nuance or complexity.
   Examples:
   “If you don’t support this bill, you must be a terrible person.”
   “If I can’t get it perfect, I’m a failure.”
   This type of thinking creates division, rigidity, and unrealistic expectations—both for us and others.

5. Labeling: “This One Thing Defines Everything”
   You attach a sweeping judgment to a person or situation based on a single behavior or moment.
   Examples:
   “He’s a liar.”
   “I’m a mess.”
   “They’re evil.”
   It oversimplifies complex human experiences into fixed, identity-based conclusions—and shuts down any room for growth, dialogue, or context.

These distortions are often layered on top of the NLP filters—so we’re not just missing information (deletion), misinterpreting it (distortion), or generalizing it, we’re also reacting to it through emotionally charged thought loops that reinforce fear, certainty, and division.

The good news? When we become aware of these habits, we can interrupt the cycle. We can pause. Reflect. Reframe. Choose differently.

Now let’s talk about how.

How to Catch Mental Habits in Real Time

Awareness is powerful—but it’s not always easy.

These mental habits—filters and distortions—happen so fast, we don’t even realize they’ve kicked in until we’re already reacting, spiraling, or shutting down.

The goal isn’t to stop them altogether. That’s unrealistic. The goal is to notice them and interrupt the cycle—so you can choose how to respond instead of defaulting to reaction.

Here are some practical ways to start catching them in real time, no matter the situation:

• Ask: “What might I not be seeing?” (interrupts deletion)
  When something feels emotionally charged, ask yourself:
  – Is there missing context?
  – What information might help me see this more clearly?
  – Am I reacting to part of the picture… or the whole?
  This question alone can buy you the space to pause and shift out of automatic certainty.

• Check the Story You’re Telling Yourself (Interrupts distortion & mind reading)
  Pause and ask:
  – What story am I creating around this?
  – Is there more than one possible explanation?
  – Am I assigning intent or meaning without proof?
  Naming the story helps loosen its grip.

• Zoom Out from Absolutes (Interrupts generalization & all-or-nothing thinking)
  When you notice words like always, never, everyone, no one, ask:
  – Is that really true?
  – Can I find even one exception?
  – Am I turning one moment into a rule?
  Reality is rarely black-and-white. Reclaiming the gray space is where growth lives.

• Feel the Feeling—Then Fact-Check It (Interrupts emotional reasoning & catastrophizing)
  Try asking:
  – What emotion am I feeling right now?
  – What triggered it?
  – Is the situation truly dangerous—or just uncomfortable?
  Your emotions are real. But they may not be reliable guides for the whole truth.

• Pause Before You Speak, Post, or React (Interrupts reaction loops)
  If something lights you up emotionally—pause. Just for a breath. Just long enough to ask: “Is what I’m about to share true?  Why am I compelled to share this?  Am I contributing to fear, division, or reactivity—or am I sharing in a way that adds clarity elevates the conversation, and adds thoughtful dialog?
  This works whether you’re about to comment on a post, respond to a partner, or spiral into self-doubt.

• Shift Perspective Intentionally (Interrupts stuck narratives and opens curiosity)
  Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is ask:
  – What might this look like from another point of view?
  – How would someone I respect interpret this?
  – If a neutral observer was watching this from the outside, what would they notice?
  Shifting perspective isn’t about abandoning your values. It’s about stepping outside of mental autopilot and opening up new ways of understanding.

These practices are not about perfection. They’re about presence.

Over time, if applied with consistency which means being aware of your thoughts and reactions, they become a new habit—a more conscious way of thinking and engaging that doesn’t just benefit you, it impacts every room you walk into, every conversation you join, and every ripple you create.

The Shift Starts Within

The truth is, the world isn’t going to get quieter anytime soon.

There will always be headlines. There will always be emotional posts, rapid reactions, and narratives designed to grab attention—often by bypassing your critical thinking altogether. But just because it’s out there… doesn’t mean it has to live in you—especially if you notice it’s leaving you anxious, defensive, disconnected, or just plain exhausted.

You actually do have a choice!

You don’t have to absorb it.

You don’t have to carry it.

You don’t have to react on cue.

You have other options—starting with awareness.

Because when you understand how your mind works, you can start to recognize when you’re getting pulled into habits that don’t serve you. And once you can see it?

You can shift it.

You can slow down.

You can stay grounded.

You can engage more consciously—with yourself, with others, and with the world around you. Not to control the world, but to stay steady in it. Not to avoid reality, but to respond to it with clarity, not reactivity.

And in a time when so many are shouting, spinning, and certain…

Your ability to pause, reflect, and choose is a quiet kind of power.

Use it well.

Ready to Go Deeper? 

If this stirred something in you—if you’re ready to explore your own mental habits and emotional patterns on a deeper level—I’ve created a free resource to guide you.

Navigating Your Emotional Triggers

A practical tool to help you:

• Identify your personal trigger patterns
• Understand what’s really happening beneath your emotional reactions—and why they show up the way they do
• Learn how to respond with more clarity and intention
• Build emotional resilience—without bypassing what’s real

This isn’t surface-level work. It’s self-awareness you can actually use.

Click here to learn more!

Because your peace of mind is worth protecting—and it starts by understanding what pulls you out of it.